LETTER: ‘Connections we make with others are what will save us’

To Ozaukee Press:

When I was teaching English, a student I hadn’t seen in a while showed up for the final essay exam. He’d only been to class four times all semester and knew he was failing. I appreciated how he accepted the consequences of his actions. I even admired his non-compliance. He had the nerve to be himself. He didn’t have a clue what to write about, since he didn’t know
any of the material. I suggested he write about what school should be like, what would make him want to attend.

Later, with students gone and summer heat wafting through the hallway, I set
to work assessing the essays. I got to his somewhere in mid-pack. The handwriting looked vicious, so I braced myself for the expected illegible tirade against schools, teachers, all that.

But no. The words were clear, the sentences thoughtful. He said the one thing that would get him to come through the doors of school every morning was if the teachers were there to greet him. To say good morning. Maybe shake his hand. I stopped in my tracks.

That’s it? That’s all it would take? I sat there for awhile, thinking, unable to grade any more essays about novels and authors. You mean, if we just…?

People talk about gun control, background checks, stricter regulations, sharper surveillance, bulletproof whiteboards, bulletproof backpacks, shying away from the community experience, building walls, expanding security. OK. But if we can’t learn to be kind to each other, to look someone in the eye and say hello, to smile when they are frowning, we still fail to save the humans.

If parents and grandparents continue to engage their phones and ignore their children as they walk strollers through the park, we still fail to save the humans.

If every time a toddler or a teenager cries out to be heard we hand them a screen and a bag of chips, we fail to save the humans. It is the connections we make with other human beings that will save us. The noticed nod, the touch of the hand, the shared good words, the understanding. It is how we make each other feel, right here, face to face, that will save the world.

Tad Phippen Wente
Port Washington