Hand lotion for gardeners is not like neckties for dads

There is a joke about gardeners when it comes to holiday gifts they’d like to receive — just make it anything but hand lotion.

Somewhere along the line, giving hand lotion became a default gift for gardeners, much like ties on Father’s Day or perfume for Mother’s Day, and it is received by some with about as much enthusiasm. But I’d argue that giving hand lotion to a gardener isn’t such a bad idea because, frankly, most of us could use it.

By the end of fall, most gardeners’ hands fall far short of hand model standards. They’re dry, cracked, perpetually dingy despite hours of scrubbing and could double as a medium-grit sandpaper in a pinch.

I know what you’re thinking. You might be better off getting the gardener in your life some gloves instead, and you’re not wrong. I love giving (and receiving) my favorite inexpensive nitrile gardening gloves in sets of four. Carrying around these gloves demonstrates my sincere intention to wear them, which I do, for at least 15 minutes before I take one off to check my phone and proceed to lose it in the garden.

I start every gardening season with four matching pairs of gloves and, without fail, by the end of June I have only mismatched pairs, which doesn’t bother me so long as I’m able to find one — of any color — for each hand. By the end of July, only left-hand gloves remain. I can only assume that the right-hand gloves have run off with all the single socks to live in Utopia with a bunch of mismatched Tupperware lids.

This explains why gardeners can usually use some hand lotion by the time the holidays roll around. But if you’re looking to change it up, I have a few other suggestions for what to buy for the gardener in your life.

At the end of the day, tools are what gardeners really want. But we want the good stuff that will last for years, not cheapies that will break by the middle of summer. Expect to pay twice as much as what you think its going to cost to get a really good tool.

If you know a gardener, you know that we all just want more plants. Don’t be dissuaded by the fact that we have no place to put them; that’s a challenge that every gardener is up to. Also, we really want to pick them out ourselves, so a gift certificate to a favorite garden center is the way to go.

And if all else fails, go with something that encourages your favorite gardener to slow down and smell the literal roses, and enjoy all their hard work. I recommend a bottle of excellent gin along with a healthy supply of good tonic. If you’re feeling really generous, a nice garden bench or comfy outdoor chair will really hammer home the point.

And if you decide to give a gardener a gift certificate for a manicure, you might want to tip in advance. That poor nail technician has their work cut out for them.