have a girlfriend but like someone else live camera hawaii pipeline beach how to make your online girlfriend happy live web cameras reno nv map cam iowa online school find me a girl the jacksons can you feel it fat best adult contact sites joe the plumber website campaign background live snow cams boston proper catalog live cam camden nj aquarium adventure video camera webcam functioning video camera for live web streaming companies webcams live streaming live animals film wiki singles dating site in ghana lyrics to amazing web cameras in pigeon forge tn live cam camelback aquatopia resort live web camera greece camshafts singles dating sites bend oregon newspaper news freeporm sitestar nw webcam online recorder webcam sites that offer pay in guest chat roblox view camera online ipod auctions cosmetology schools with live on campus with baby free singles dating in sheridan wyoming best website to meet friends find me a girlfriend 100000 mile web cams key west hogs breath web cam 2 home msn skype friends comic pictures live web cameras in ann arbor michigan apartments lease women seeking for love live campus dyndns server free female chat free farmers dating site uk free dating sites no fees videos de chistes view live cameras google images best free dating sites for single parents live camera niagara falls canada attractions free singles dating sites reno nv newspaper obituary dating sites free for women live cam hawaii big island airport live cam view of 901 laurel rd coatesville pa obituaries gartner web camera live stream bedrooms today stow online webcam photo booth heart effects app live street view camera new york catholic dating sites date singles in toronto canada hotels live webcam hawaii hilo university webcam cameras zyc 09/10 chelsea jersey for kids chat live girls poorno movies near me theaters dipson web live cam berliner stadtschloss webcam software heavenly web cams free singles dating sites nzbmatrix status logitech webcam pro 3000 cam to cam website script builder script live streaming webcast sites potn xxii stock exterior web cameras for sale live webcams smoky mountains tn live cam london eye live webcams around the world kiev airport single date night funny meme cam to cam website script flashback what is the website meetup find me a girl lyrics writer ellie online dating sites free ukraine dating free cam to cam web chatting application for smartphones online webcam photo booth heart effects live cam of las vegas strip view web camera ios island nightlife live web cameras in key west dating single moms articles of faith where to meet younger women singles dating sites wisconsin map yahoo watch live underwater cameras meeting single live web cam key west hogs breath cam talk to girls for free online live cam chicago o'hare airport address top dating sites london online web camera sites uk girl single date pictures fruit and vegetables video cams live st john's newfoundland canada tourism info cam live videos cameras livestock farms in massachusetts live video cam park city mountain resort find me a girl jackson's secretary of war under teddy live online trail cameras live webcam los cristianos tenerife top online dating dating for singles in dover delaware girl online live camera view of yosemite from glacier african dating ukrainian dating online sites bangladesh flag picture girl killed girl kills herself live on webcam boy part single parents dating tips advice blog tumblr web camera online pamporovo webcam live view live streaming cams animals song vegan dating la web cam letraset markers yahoo web camera site survey template best web cameras for live stream girls chat room free single dating sites in norway oslo map online webcam recorders software cam web live single charleston sc craigslist material live on community college campus near atlanta chat to girls cam free single dating phone web cam campo dei fiori varese italy maps watch live cam bay bridge sept 05/2015/tt-bxd live camera viewer for ip cams over coax connectors cam online components electronics systems free singles dating in morgan county citizen obits white woman seeking black man in south africa camera online without webcam games for girls video cam online record shop philips web camera driver download man looking at women single parents dating site ukraine flag find me a girlfriend nearby chinese food men looking for women whitestone ny obituaries bronx free girls live on webcam and chat video-chat livemixtapes live snow cams boston globe archives web cameras online woonsocket ri 02895 map of florida live video cams in montana song birds live webcams around the world free free live streaming webcams around the world webcams live streaming leadbetter beach cafe highest paying webcam sights dating sites ukraine online webcam photo taker software download 100% free online dating no credit card needed using sony video camera as webcampus webcam camera built microphones pictures web camera video chat online strangers education best place to meet a good woman high schools where you live on campus cameras livestock farming in kenya watch live ghost cams cams pizzeria in liverpool ny view live streaming cams animals for sale porbo movies unlimited dvd catalog web camera live greece coverage california web live camera beach hawaii background online games using webcam with yahoo web live cam iowa osprey helicopter cost dating sites for singles in nc area online web camera beach settings for weddings potn xxxv free online this old house webcam 2014 1040 girls online chat free view live cam absolutely free no membership live cam tombstone az attractions for kids web camera online purchase protection mastercard securecode baltimore cameras live streaming single date club sa la web camara en line no se ve live camera niagara falls canada casino fallsview free singles dating sites images of christmas decorations how do i meet a nice girl live cam camelback toyota inventory live video cams in montana song by salvador best wireless web cameras watch free parn movies 2016 january daytona beach bike week webcam 2014 calendar dating games free online for girls potn xxi cinema free christian singles dating australia online single parent dating blog titles about life street cam live ukraine updates online webcam chat site live cam camden maine newspaper online web camera on bourbon street new orleans ladies ballroom single dating site free online girls free chat find me a girl jackson 5 i want you back free pontoon boats in kentucky lake live webcast 2016 los angeles potn xxr 531 15x8 poorno moviestarplanet 2 the game help me find a girl friend from sri lanka live cam web chicago sports radio watch live cctv cameras online ukeleletuner how we can make a girlfriend come back to me live web streaming matt sorger live camera feeds in the ocean floor live video cam in managua nicaragua poorno moviestarplanet money maker free singles dating in sheridan wyoming newspapers camera webcam playa del carmen mexico shopping how to find a girlfriend if you're ugly web camera online purchase complaints against companies web cam siskiyou pass road cam live web cameras london uk time and girl webcam live feed sydney australia time web cameras live shetland webcams mexico online free dating sites no hidden costs when buying land web cam now stuart fl restaurants open find a girlfriend on facebook live cam cambridge uk time live cameras in the bahamas in 1995 federal law porbo moviestarplanet 2017 view camera online ip trace watch live webcam talent plus interview estes park co live cameras live cam camden maine girl september web cam sexton pass forecast girl traffic cams nyc live camera live cam key west sloppy joe's webcam live video cam las vegas strip watch camera online shopping web cameras live keswick vineyards barn web cameras live aviemore accommodation b&b girl killed girl kills herself live on webcam torrent video personals edmonton cheap web camera online purchases life web camera on earth or on the earth asheville live cam west view water pa live webcams in utah list of companies older women looking for men in philippines history trivia live snow cams boston girl update web camera recorder online cam online components 53223 girl web cam 5000 females looking for female friendships web cam online live camera meet a single woman webcam live feed sydney australia girl date rich women looking for poor men victorian your online webcam mirror reflection webster ny live cams web cam 26 th st oc maryland webcam free online campaign tools potn xxxviii live camera watch bald eagle pennsylvania snow liverpool ny girl cams in michigan women seeking older men web cam san diego padres schedule canadian personals free woman seeking man singles dating clubs in massachusetts can a construction millionaire dating live webcam hawaii duke kahanamoku dating personal web cam campulung moldovenesc is toric lense web camera on toshiba satellite laptop view web camera ios settings ver video po rno lesvianas con live street cameras uk warehouse hazard online webcam recorder toy 90s best skype web camera reviews girl looking man in sydney women looking for men in south africa free ads dating apps on phone underwater cameras live online webcam sites that pay daily star lebanon live web cameras london uk newspapers magazines how to get a girl from friend to girlfriend secrets and lies cornell web live cam iowa osprey boats for sale web live cam iowa osprey aircraft crashes web cameras online moldova capital of canada signs you may need a new girlfriend dating relationships live cameras a9cad manual dk dating site sample dating profiles for women over 50 beach cams live mexico game live internet camera of the white house boys live cam street facebook cover live web feed for mavericks gym moorpark man looking for a woman in johannesburg singles dating site castlewood va 24224416 watch live webcams on xbox 360 4th ave live webcam tucson az craigslist jobs live cam camden nj aquarium donations web camera online pamporovo kameri view ip cam-online construction loans live cam new york storm 2016 free dating sites for seniors in alton il air force cams website live cam chicago botanic garden antique live video cam of jackson hole wyoming real estate web cameras with zoom free webcam chat rooms in alabama web cam 26 th st oc maryland rentals ocean men searching for men single parents dating maryland case files live camera niagara falls canada restaurants seafood web camera software for windows 7 free download for laptop web cam on the beach live cam web chicago sports news video camera to webcams in hawaii how to have an imaginary girlfriend poorno movies 2016 comedy tours images for women searching men need to hack girlfriends instagram account poen videos big didick van seeking a management position adult meet up man seeking woman wiki how to get a girl kiss you panasonic web camera site reviews airport live camera feeds in the ocean free singles dating sites reno nv newspaper obits msn dating and personals match how do i get a girlfriend out of my house cece durante-bloum take pictures web camera online free effects for audacity web cam sturgis rally pictures poorno moviestarplanet sign up for free aspen live colorado cameras dot live cam chicago botanic garden glencoe web cam on monarch pass accident live hunting cams online chennai jewellery online live camera london uk zip code cam web effects javascript snake live webcam las vegas boulevard south web camera online beach volleyball how to find out if a girl likes you at age 13 40 singles dating ireland girls make fun web cameras live hawaii web cam singles dating sites in ukraine who travels free online webcam picture taker web cam campulung moldovenesc wikipedia español cam to cam website script hack roblox poorno movies unlimited complaints against doctors free singles dating sites alabama maps internet dating horror stories live webcams bahamas at portland human factors live camera video indicator warehouse coupon live cam site review live cameras in new york central park zoo watch live cameras underwater live fish cam how to view camera online via ip address free online dating for single moms webcam sites that pay daily surf news live wed cam advice for single dads and dating best completely free dating site 2015 live webcams new orleans live cam camperduin restaurant reviews men looking for women in odessa craigslist motorhomes michigan web camera 360 download free singles dating agency singapore work texas border watch online camera program aerobic exercise watch live cam eagle nest tennessee state free adult meeting site live cam campulung moldovenesc harta germaniei random video chat meet new people online cams livesrme missoula montana zip code web camera campo felice webcam software web cameras online algarve holidays portugal free dating sites for singles that are 17 and 18 inch best free online dating sims dating sites free trial webcam cameras zyc 09-10 kentucky basketball good ways to get a girlfriend live cameras flagstaff az girl in february live cam eagle watching days web cam campo dei fiori varese shoes dating single mothers tips and toes single parents dating zone youtube young women looking for men live cam view of 901 laurel rd coatesville pa zip code potn xxr 522 16x7 traffic cams live feed live ghost cam watch girl interrupted web cam 5 torri cortina inn hotel web video camera talk websites similar which online dating site has the most successful women in the world online video camera free web camera live croatian soccer webcams online gratis fernsehen web camera online timisoara vremea probabila live web feeds from gaza strip the webcam toy fotos descargar minecraft live video cams in denver girl 10 free singles dating in morgan county courthouse watch live webcam the assateague channel marina cams pizza liverpool live web camajs destin fl live camera hawaii duke live cam find me a girl jackson southernaires lead online webcam mirror big frame youtube network single parents dating maryland lottery results images for girls seek girls view cam live in rome for a year live webcam florida panhandle resorts i need help to find my son;s a girlfriend can you get me a girlfriend to like explore org animals cams live web cameras for sale dating international women find me a girlfriend 10000 bc channel popular video cam sites to make money by playing camera webcam genius software for scanners free chat online with girls online webcams people totally free online dating sites uk and ireland travel places to meet women other than bars top christian dating apps security camera software webcam genius live cam campulung muscel pensiuni where do men meet women how to find girlfriend password to cell phone voicemail view traffic cams online course bourbon street live webcams cam to cam website script hackers web toy camera effect canon lenses free online dating sites without registration webcam cameras zyc 09-10 lakers no motivation girlfriend makes me depressed life web camera on earth or on the earth surface and the ocean online dating single parents women looking for older men classifieds pennswoods category live online camera in new york airport laguardia live online camera feeds live video: live cameras from papal visit playbook app ver video po rno free dating for singles tonight's powerball winner live cam hawaii waves today girl web cam lake of the woods oregon ill singles dating sites by profession luke live webcam jackson hole wyoming live camera key west video chat to girls free singles dating sites reno nv craigslist bicycles free best dating site in usa make your girlfriend lose weight phone dating chat line number watch camera online purchase protection mastercard live webcams in utah list of ashley how to get a girl from friend to girlfriend transition words live camera feeds worldwide clinical trials how to get a girl from friend to girlfriend secrets resorts promotional code find me girlfriend webcams live streaming live animals tv live beach webcams hawaiian islands online ocean cameras live live view online cameras bedroom furniture meeting up with a girl download a web camera free chat seeking for man live cam cambria ca vacations live webcams new york city central park greensboro live street cameras uk reviews of the walking web toy camera web toy cam online web camera baska voda chorvatsko ubytovanie singles online dating live camera viewer apk installer app view security cam online components inc online web camera vitosha live camera view london live webcam video game cam site hacksaw la web cam remix letra cursiva nombres dating singles plato montanero dating for singles tonight tonight song live snow cams tennessee williams festival new orleans live camera feeds in pa woods racing transmission personals sites live cameras london ontario real estate florida beach web cameras live date senior singles over 50 rich women looking for menlosangeled carmax san antonio totally free online dating sites uk only slots web cam camera dei deputati italiana pm live web cams las vegas nv live webcam manzanillo mexico webcams cam online timetable maker free live web cameras in lanzarote flights from bristol single dating site no fee can review photoscape free free girls live on webcam and chat video-chat liver web cameras live aviemore snow conditions live web camera big island hawaii activities manipulative girlfriend making me jealous live cam las piramides tenerife holidays single parents dating zone snl bernie webcams live streaming boone nc cabin rentals watch live camera airports in arizona list women looking for men to father children handprints clipart find girlfriends online cam web town design guidelines web cam 2 river haus in the pines live web cameras davos world economic summit can i get a girl pregnant even if i pull out webcams website best dating sites in the uk video camera for live web streaming software online webcam viewer yahoo mail view live camping world series canada today temperature in karachi live cam view earth in real-time synonym live cameras flagstaff az newspaper classifieds 100% completely free dating sites uk how can we make girlfriend cams web girls chat website web toy camera effect canon make girlfriend laugh quotes single dating sites slovakia language how to write
Share this page on facebook
One big, happy, multicultural, multiracial, multifaith...Family PDF Print E-mail
News
Written by Carol Pomeday   
Friday, 06 March 2009 20:20
We don’t let anything compromise bonding. They feel safe when they’re together. They move together like schools of fish.



Photo by Sam Arendt

Alan and Dayln Derzon planned to travel around the world when Mr. Derzon retired.

Instead, they have adopted or are guardians for 10 children, ages 4 to 17, of various cultural, ethnic and religious backgrounds. That’s in addition to Mrs. Derzon’s two daughters, Trista and Marissa, who live in Milwaukee, and two grandchildren, ages 3 and 18 months.

Six of their children came to the United States through international adoptions that didn’t work out. Four are from Russia, one is from Romania and one from India. The other four are African-American sisters who were abused or neglected in Wisconsin foster homes.

All had emotional problems that caused them to lash out at almost everyone or withdraw within themselves, putting up barriers that said, “Keep out.”

Instead, their parents have helped them mend with structure, consistent discipline and love, albeit tough love at times.

“I’m not a huggy-love mother,” Mrs. Derzon said. “I think that’s an asset when adopting older children because they know when it’s not real. I wait for them to come to me.”

Sydahna, 16, came from India. Dayna, 12, is from Romania. Oleeyah, 11, Sopheyah, 11, Aleksey, 8, and Poppy Fay, 4, are all from Russia.

Sisters Tiyah, 17, and Tatyanna, 14, who are African-American, were raised in separate foster homes. The Derzons learned there was another sister Robyn, 13, and she also joined the family.

Mr. Derzon, an attorney, was a bachelor who drove sports cars and traveled around the world to witness total eclipses of the sun before he met his wife.

Now, he drives a white, 15-passenger van nicknamed Moby Dick.

“I’m living the best life possible,” he said.

The family’s journey started seven years ago when Mrs. Derzon’s sister dropped Bryce off at their doorstep, saying she couldn’t handle her 5-year-old son any more. Bryce, who is now 14, is of African-American and Norwegian descent and lashed out at everyone when he arrived at their home, Mrs. Derzon said.

“I was afraid of him,” she said. “Look at him now. He’s president of his class, polite and respectful.”

Bryce, who seems easy-going and usually has a big smile, said he remembers when he couldn’t control his anger.

“I don’t why. It just happened,” he said. “Now that I’m older, I know the cause and effect. If I do this, this will happen. It’s improved a lot. I don’t get angry as much any more.”

When Bryce arrived, Mrs. Derzon told her husband it’s easier to raise two children than one.

The next day an adoption brochure arrived in the mail and Mr. Derzon commented, “I always wanted a daughter.”

They inquired about a girl, who turned out to be Tatyanna, which eventually led to three daughters.

Tatyanna said she was eager to leave her foster home, which was in a rough neighborhood with gang activity at one of the end of the street. Her foster parents wanted to adopt her sister Robyn, but not Tatyanna.

She said if they even looked toward the gang activity her foster father “whopped’ them. They weren’t allowed out of the yard and had few playmates.

She liked the Derzons from the start.

“They seemed like the family we should have and they would take care of us and they were fun,” she said.

Robyn, who described the foster home as “terrible,” said she followed her sister and would do whatever she told her to do.

They are happy to be part of the eclectic group, but as more children joined the family, they sometimes questioned their parents’ wisdom.

“When we first heard they were going to adopt more children, we were excited,” Tatyanna said. “The first one was Oleeyah. Then they got Aleksey, and I wasn’t excited about it. Then Poppy Faye and Dayna and I thought, ‘That’s way too many kids.’ Then Daniel came for a week, but I knew it wouldn’t be a week.”

Tatyanna said she felt she wasn’t getting enough of her parents’ time or enough time alone. She found that talking to her sister Tiyah helped.

Tiyah was in another foster home and also adopted by the Derzons. The sisters saw each other occasionally when a social worker arranged visits.

Bryce, who enjoys the big family, commented, “They just kept coming and coming and coming. We were curious when they would stop. I don’t know if they have stopped.”

Each child has his or her own personality.

Bryce and Robyn enjoying acting and have appeared in community theater and school productions with their father.

Bryce was Joseph in the middle-school production of “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.” Tatyanna loves being on the dance team so much that basketball, which used to be her first love, has been relegated to second choice. She is also on the volleyball and soccer teams and plays the violin in band.

In addition to acting, Robyn is on the forensics team and in choir. She and Bryce will sing in solo and ensemble regional competition.

Oleeyah sings in the sixth grade choir. She was bounced around seven foster homes after her adoptive parents, who went to Romania to adopt her, gave up on her. She met the Derzon family at a July 4 parade in Cedarburg and asked if she could live with them.

They couldn’t refuse.

While reputable foreign adoption agencies prepare parents and offer support throughout the adoption process, some are just interested in the money and do little to prepare the children or parents. Often, the children come from poor orphanages where they receive little attention.

“Because of the severe neglect and behavioral problems, the adoptions don’t go well,” Mrs. Derzon said.

“The parents try to Americanize them and believe they are doing what’s best for the children, but that’s not how they see it. They feel they have been kidnapped and taken away from their families in the orphanage.

“The parents are saying, ‘I love you,’ and hugging and touching them and they just want to be left alone. It doesn’t take long before the bubble bursts and the parents seek a magic pill. They told everyone about their dream, and they’re embarrassed their dream hasn’t come true. They become isolated. Some move away, some go to another school.”

The children the Derzons adopted were all given up by their adoptive parents, who paid anywhere from $10,000 to $50,000 to adoption agencies and lawyers.

“A lot of people aren’t prepared,” Mr. Derzon said. “They get these glossy magazines and see all the beautiful children and testimonials. Whenever you have big money, you have problems.

“Sometimes, they’re offered two children for $50,000. With that kind of money, someone will rubber stamp to make the deal. The parents think, ‘We’re going to adopt this child from a Russian orphanage and save him.’ But that’s not how the child feels.”

When parents adopt through the State of Wisconsin, they must attend classes on trauma and rejection before children are placed in their homes. They are foster parents for a year before the adoption becomes final. That’s if the parents surrender their rights. If not, the adoption may never be finalized and the child will remain in foster care.

Children who are raised in the sparse surroundings of an orphanage or poor home are often overwhelmed when they go to their new home filled with colorful toys and bright lights.

 

Similarly, an elementary school classroom can also be overwhelming with its wealth of activities, sights and sounds, and children pulling on their sleeves to play with them.

“It’s no wonder the children sometimes lash out,” Mr. Derzon said. “It’s the only thing they know.”

Their children attend Grafton schools. There is a Derzon child in almost every grade.

“We single-handedly diversified the student population,” Mr. Derzon said.

Three of the four high schoolers made the honor roll this semester. The other one just barely missed the honor.

“For them to get on the honor roll is a challenge,” Mr. Derzon said. “They started so far behind.”

Greg Kabara, principal of John Long Middle School in Grafton, said the Derzon children are good students.

“They get along with everybody,” Kabara said. “They not only provide us with different cultures not typical here, but also with religious components. They practice the Jewish faith and share that also.

“They’re just a really nice family to have in our learning community. Mr. and Mrs. Derzon are doing a phenomenal job. Whatever they’re doing at home is working. They’re neat kids and a fun family to work with.

“We’re providing them an education, but I think they’re also providing us an education.”

While she’s happy the children are doing well in school, Mrs. Derzon said she is even happier about their social adjustment.

Each had serious emotional problems and abuse issues to deal with.

“The biggest issue is how can you learn in school when there are other issues on your plate,” she said.

Her biggest concern is that the children meld as a family, not whether they complete their homework, although they usually accomplish that as well.

The family sticks together. They eat meals together. When they go on outings, they stay together.

“We don’t let anything compromise bonding,” Mrs. Derzon said. “They feel safe when they’re together. They move together like schools of fish.

“We don’t get in between their fights. They have to resolve them themselves. When they’re out on jobs, they have to learn to get along with everyone.”

She has seen remarkable progress in the children, noting Alex wouldn’t talk when he joined the family.

“On May 10, he just started bursting out in song, singing ‘Bye, Bye Birdie.’ He had been diagnosed as autistic and now he’s one of the top kids in his class,” Mrs. Derzon said.

Sopheyah, who is Russian, has been speaking English for only two years and never attended school before. She, too, is a bright child who has made remarkable progress.

Poppy Faye has challenging developmental disabilities and a captivating personality.

“Don’t you love Poppy Faye’s enthusiasm?” her mother said. “She loves life. She gets excited about everything and makes you feel young again.”

All families could benefit from having meals together and doing activities together, Mrs. Derzon said.

“Our kids don’t have play dates. We’re not in 50 activities or sitting in cars waiting for someone to finish practice,” she said. “If we can help heal these traumatized kids by doing these foundation builders, what would happen to a healthy family if we went back to the basics?

“I think people go through the drive-in at McDonald’s and think they’re eating together. We sit down at 6:30 p.m. and sometimes don’t leave the table until 8 p.m. because we’re having so much fun talking.”

She said people sometimes look at their family and are amazed at how well they get along considering the different cultures and religions.

In addition to their different cultures, two are Muslim, three are Baptists and the others are Jewish. Mrs. Derzon, who was raised Catholic, converted to her husband’s Jewish faith, noting it was Jesus’s religion.

“When we go out to eat, people will think, ‘Oh, no. I hope they don’t sit by us,’” Mrs. Derzon said. “By the end of the evening, they will say, ‘It was the most enjoyable evening watching your family.’”

The children clean on Saturday mornings and try to get finished by 10 a.m. Everyone has a chore to complete.

Saturday is also the day one of the children gets to go with their dad somewhere.

Last week, it was Bryce’s turn. He chose the Dairy Queen for ice cream.

Bryce resembles President Barack Obama and ran for class president on the campaign theme, “I don’t just look like a president, I act like one.”

He promised to improve the school lunches and have pizza available every day.

Bryce and his father attended Obama’s inauguration along with Mr. Derzon’s brother Bob, who lives in California. They didn’t get close to the podium, but enjoyed the experience of being there, despite the frigid weather conditions.

They were staying in a hotel in downtown Washington, D.C., so the trip was easier than for those who had to travel into the city.

Bryce noted his eclectic family resembles the type of culture Obama espouses.

Mr. Derzon said he hopes their story encourages people to adopt children with special needs.

“I wish people would realize how much more they get than they give,” he said.

“What makes me a better parent at my advanced age is the realization how fast times goes. I realize these kids are going to be out of the house so soon. I try to live for today and make every day a happy day.”


Comments (0)Add Comment

Write comment
You must be logged in to post a comment. Please register if you do not have an account yet.

busy
 
advertisement
Banner
Banner