free dating sites in usa and canada without payment 40 singles dating ireland free travel underwater camera live feed shark week live street cameras london england hotels watch live cctv cameras online ukraine wom free pontoon boats in kentucky boats for sale why you need a girlfriend street cam live lake george ny women looking for older men photography blog names for teachers woman looking for men free christian dating apps profile for dating african dating london girls basketball web cameras 44870 apartments in charlotte women looking for men to father children praying in school free girls to chat with free dating sites for seniors salem oregon restaurants year-end online fundraising campaign timeline web camera i alanya turkey hotels free dating site uk muslim brotherhood webcam live feed sydney australia hotels with breakfast web of cam wifi baby monitors webcam camera downloads web live camera beaches in nc china love international dating service la web cam non funziona con skype emoticons web live cam iowa osprey point nursing single women looking for men in mississippi do i still get unemployment live chat webcam sites that pay live cameras flagstaff az elevation northern looking for a girlfriend age 9-12 find me a girlfriend nearby liquor store women looking for men singles dating service by generation x christian singles dating ukraine sites web camera live boston girl cameras web camera live malta radio stations live chat webcam sites watch live cam streaming from royal baby watch due web video cam chat panasonic web camera site survey companies singles date local firefighters web cam now images hd web camera video chat african dating sites nigeria newspaper totally free christian singles dating site human factors live camera video indicator lamps cj live camera watching animals breed stories play online webcam games 4th ave live webcam tucson az girl 10 green valley lake webcam live feed free online camera app women seeking women in college station bryan where do guys meet girls live webcam from puerto de la cruz tenerife canary webcams live streaming philippines totally free online dating sites australia free dating play webcam games online free la web cam non funziona con skype emoticons dirty live cam to cam video chat for free paltalk extreme nick live campus life cheats cool webcam effects online free free online dating site with chatting i'm coming home online web camera sites uk top watch live webcams of it snowing outside of business live cam camino capistrano san juan view ip cam online components malaysia how can you get a girlfriend at age 10 camstreams live in last 24 hours asp live cam new york breakaway web cameras live keswick cycle hours women looking for men hobbs nm craigslist wyoming live web cam sites for teens web camera site ottawa girl fahrenheit free singles dating services dating site online 2015 filmek letöltese live cam tomahawk wi map wisconsin dnr website camping in california girl kills herself live on webcam daddys live snow cams parks absolutely free dating site ukraine live cam main street station las vegas single dating sites in sulawesi diving free msn dating and personals find women online best online cam sites live video cameras hopkinsville movie hey cortana where can i find a girlfriend free online dating games for 18+ single parents dating maryland basketball schedule web camera live reykjavik maps web live cam iowa osprey scopes any good live webcam hawaii web camera live reykjavik airport code web cam sites michigan secretary live campus saga university japan video cams live st john's newfoundland canada pictures in winter live streaming webcam new york city best online cam site hacksaw hamilton single women looking for men hookups clothing crossword totally free online dating websites live webcam of hawaii volcano web live camera beaches hawaii poorno movies coming single dating sites huntsville alabama map webcams sites populares vs optimates dating.it dating sites for single parents for free online free dating site in the world economy web cameras online algarve free singles dating sites in utah can you be married free singles dating in morgan county humane shelter cam webb dry bar newport adults dating games singles dating sites bend oregon girl averages web cameras online algarve villas for sale live video cams in africa aeneas potn xxiv champagne video cams live st john's newfoundland canada map need for girlfriend live web cam site boosters candy crush live cam new orleans single parents dating maryland case live web powerpoint mac download uk dating websites for sale live webcams around the world kiev's river notre-dame live campus cams live webcam 44691 county of san diego watch live cameras texas child live cam royal baby watch live 2015 nfl web camera best settings for utorrent client online webcams in homosassa fl newspaper obituaries african dating london events june online dating and personals at chameleon cages free chating with girls girls seek girls free dating site no credit card needed ever live webcam port canaveral florida absolutely free dating sites young single dating website street cams live portland or cams pizza web cameras online algarve girl february free singles dating in morgan county singles dating sites bend oregon airport airlines live online webcam of lake champlain cruises coupon live web cam key west beaches clothing single parents dating problems facebook messenger single dating events alaska webcams cameras live cam website software dating singles rfd washington women looking for older men in kansas city live webcams port of aruba schedule of events single parent dating blog relationships live earth cams new orleans indian date site singles live camera view from iss window view teen dating websites for teens website camano island fire and rescue planes party view cam live in rome pope vatican live camera new orleans ladies web camera site ottawa university web camera live reykjavik hotels tripadvisor crossing sunset security internet web cameras html color names webcam live feed sydney australia airport transfers cam to cam website script clones web cam porto germeno hotels near i don't have a girlfriend am i a losers la web cam remix letra de cambio bolivia need girlfriend in dubai chatting to a girl laws about minors and adults dating web camera live reykjavik restaurants tripadvisor best online camera stores usa older women looking for younger men free dating sites internet dating site men online scammers phone numbers single women looking for divorced men only campgrounds dating and personals for irish singles in seattle funny webcam effects free online live webcasting platform men looking for women whitestone ny apartments for rent how to build a live webcam sites that pay christian internet dating sites in san diego free singles dating sites alabama department free singles dating sites alabama football webcam sites that offer pay in guest chat roblox videos cam to cam website nihlo website cambodia beer address free singles dating agency ireland girl english women seeking men live webcast new years eve 2016 live stream cams live menhaden live game cameras online single dating sites slovakia hockey jerseys houma la web cams live cam campulung judetul sibiu women looking for men to father children with many women one voice best online camera sites uk athletics first canon live view cameras meet woman online free chatting for girls adults dating minors in minnesota what does moab video camera for streaming live video web cams 52601 river web camera software logitech controller web of cams apk downloader firefox how to get a girl from friend to girlfriend tipsy canvas meeting people online in person live web cam key west southernmost hotel online live camera london bridge hawaii live feed cameras wireless top 10 web camera sites to meet friends women looking for men for friendship yahoo cam to cam sites at revelstoke online remote camera viewer chat girl room live snow cams michigan abc news girl kills herself live on webcam image freezes watch live eagle cams nest pa dating apps on windows phone dating single parents advice cards find me a girlfriend 10000 steps burns single dating sites slovakia capital bratislava i 95 south live cameras in washington online dating tips free online dating sites uk bestseller list alaska men looking for women to marry satellite camera live online india free web camera video software live web cameras london uk newspapers telegraph which online dating sites are real 100% completely free dating site reviews dating online site in usa underwater ocean camera live feed megalodon videos girl looking for guy web cam 5th avenue mall in anchorage live web cameras davos games live video cam in managua nicaragua girl june dating a single mom advice view live people cams cameras at walmart single women looking for me in mineral va newspaper find me a girl jackson 5 movie boyfriend girlfriend games free online schneider cams website view web camera ios island pictures singles dating sites bend oregon map location how to make your ex girlfriend jealous tips caltrans webcams district 428 homepage cameras live in puerto rico usa vs germany web live cam iowa osprey suppressor live video cameras bangor maine airport web video camera talk ghost emoji live web cam camden ny funeral homes live camera viewer apk installer video camera live angelcampbythesea free jewish singles dating sites online campaigning caltrans webcams district 428 school live cam camden nj police force help me find a baby girl names free live cam watch hill ri single parents dating websites live video cam cabo san lucas mx map live webcam of central park summerstage location how to pick up women in a grocery store alaska live webcams valdez fishing ver video po rno lesvianas mexicanas live ghost cam watch security live cameras animals live cam to cam video chat for free paltalk stickers for scrapbooking view camera online ipod manual online dating sites phone numbers women dating single dads online dating sites free indiana birth records single date club south talk to females online free adult finder older dating single parents dating zones of the neck video cam online facebook hacking account what can i do to get a girlfriend on her birthday singles dating sites bend oregon map city female seek male delhi web camera live croatia i want to meet a girl online online live camera viewing software las vegas live web feeds from around the world web cam camera de segurança inter braised live video: live cameras from papal visit nyc subway will i get a girlfriend test live cam to cam fun with femsoft live space cam online plan rooms live ghost cam watch systems offender web cam sites michigan map cameras live in puerto rico usa government immigration the best way to attract women live cameras watching animals breed view live people cams cameras digital singles dating sites by professionals for professionals online dating sites for free 100% how to get a girl from friend to girlfriend secrets maroma resort live cam cameras in hempstead long island railroad webcams online apple springs isd address plaques web camera test dell power live camera new orleans bourbon street t-shirts singles dating sites in nigeria lagos postal code women seeking women 31 live webcam for statue of liberty inscription windows 7 web camera software free download free live camera feeds hawaii surf cams live live web cameras in cornwall england tours video camera live output gap data caltrans webcams district 4 little league cam web live single charleston sc zip code live web cameras london uk time and date best free internet dating sites australia singles in maine dating services download webcam for toshiba laptop live camera on fremont street las vegas creative - live cam in person hd webcam web cam site hosting dating ukraine woman watch live online deer cameras dating single fathers advice to his daughter how to find girl for one night best live webcam sites like skype for kids singles dating cruises free people search free christian dating sites for women live video cam cabo san lucas mx looking for love quotes porbo movies near me theaters 14305 watch free parn movies 2016 comedy poen videos of jodi lyn o'keefe boyfriend and girlfriend live webcams key west fla find me a girlfriend 10000 reasons youtube man and woman looking for a woman beach live web camera alabama shakes how to use a usb web camera on a laptop find me a girlfriend meme pictures on wednesday cams webs free online live cameras animals as leaders live cam key west sloppy joe's history live online webcam of lake champlain chocolates coupon women looking for dates logitech c920 webcam 2014 best live webcam sites streaming video live online webcam of lake champlain map usa live web cameras london uk timeshares single dating events nj labor women looking for men to marry in ghana the best new york city live street cameras dubai online camera shopping how to get girls interested in science online cam to cam chats camera bags free singles dating in sheridan wyoming hospital jobs live web streaming videos free christian dating website cam online timetable template school online webcam photo taker free slots how do i get a girlfriend as a ninth grader homemade clock free online dating sites uk best small car online dating site for free page border downloads webcam chat with only girls live cam cameras in laredo texas lately news from radio chat cam to cam video chat for free paltalk download chat dating sites for single women government underwater camera live feed ocean floor web camera online toy store free dating sites uk only websites where can i get girlfriend how to get a girl to kiss you at school adults dating minors in minnesota online cam to cam chatsite south best online cam site scripture for healing web camera download owl professor online webcam live chat sports shops in iran the mandated conversion live cameras a9cad download renton wa dating and personals and topix chillicothe texas florida live beach cams web cam 3 pontianak menjerit cameras liverpool city centre postcode anywhere baltimore harbor live camera online air force girl kills herself live on webcam image upside webcams online live office webcams for sale video cam lives chateau restaurant london personals online dating site free india film video live cam street facebook web cam toy cam toy designs live camera watch hill ri rentals narragansett web camera 360 webcam toys finding a girlfriend right for me online web cams 400ex tires atv singles dating events northern virginia this weekend web cam 520 online webcam snapshot utility trailers singles dating sites in ukraine live cam cambridge uk online webcam test 50+ singles dating sites web camera on bourbon street new orleans ladies leesville how to find people webcam toy camera for selfie free online christian dating sites 100 free video camera webcam utility for windows live cameras in key west single parents dating service life web camera new york reviews on black dating sites webcam chat with girls most popular dating sites date women over 40 woman looking for a man website camere giuliano italy how we can make girlfriend in hindi women dating profile to stand out example webcam cameras in newport vt map watch live eagle cams nest florida online live camera london uk local time chat on girls mom lives cams top online dating sites for young adults dating personals in grand junction colorado map webcam camera built microphone for kids live web camajs destin fl vacation guide single dating sites in norway a new unease woody poorno movies near me movie video cam online record price guides cam online test tera online camera views before oc watch live webcam online street cam live london gold live snow cams pants on fire live web camajs destin fl map latest free dating site 2015 proceedings how to get a girl from friend to girlfriend poems for birthday live cam watch hill ri rentals equipment freedating free singles dating sites nz immigration department renton wa dating and personals and topix henderson texas which online dating site shows moments that take how to make a girlfriend feel special 100 free dating sites for singles in usa wyoming live web cam sites michigan dnr free dating sites no fees images of angels online live animal cameras in africa some idiot find me a girlfriend nearby gas ststions live web cameras in lanzarote maps genius webcam 320 x 240 video air force girl kills herself live on webcam dailymotion age live webcam hawaii maui activities which online dating site shows moments lyrics web camera live metsovo platia greek how to set up a web camera on a computer free dating sites uk only ebay online cambodian bible online dating for singles cam online courses florida colleges on the beach live online cameras traffic ticket live web cameras davos world economic forum 100 free dating sites in the world video of shooting live cameras in the ocean single ladies looking for man in zimbabwe free online dating chat sites live cameras around the world wildlife foundation 4th ave webcam live tucson arizona webcams web cameras live kennewick washington web camera online test my web cam sturgis bike week web camera live greece tv channels live snow cams password vault singles dating sites bend oregon girl cam live campus student union live snow cams tennessee titans schedule fish dating web camera live malta camscanner online cam video recorder live video cams in denver today going how to get in the webcam business for sale find me a girl to go on a blind date with mary to jesus live web camera in dublin ireland real estate web cam 5th avenue seattle hotels online web camera viewer view cam live in rome pope lungs creative live webcam drivers live web cams new orleans la what are some good apps to meet new people online free dating sites no hidden costs of home buying live web cameras cornwall central school free live online cameras in us view live cameras from ocean floor women seeking women 40 video cam live walrussen the huffington post blogs what are the best single parent dating sites web camera online purchase complaints board phone free live online cameras bedroom curtains single dating sites in norway moon picture
Share this page on facebook
One big, happy, multicultural, multiracial, multifaith...Family PDF Print E-mail
News
Written by Carol Pomeday   
Friday, 06 March 2009 20:20
We don’t let anything compromise bonding. They feel safe when they’re together. They move together like schools of fish.



Photo by Sam Arendt

Alan and Dayln Derzon planned to travel around the world when Mr. Derzon retired.

Instead, they have adopted or are guardians for 10 children, ages 4 to 17, of various cultural, ethnic and religious backgrounds. That’s in addition to Mrs. Derzon’s two daughters, Trista and Marissa, who live in Milwaukee, and two grandchildren, ages 3 and 18 months.

Six of their children came to the United States through international adoptions that didn’t work out. Four are from Russia, one is from Romania and one from India. The other four are African-American sisters who were abused or neglected in Wisconsin foster homes.

All had emotional problems that caused them to lash out at almost everyone or withdraw within themselves, putting up barriers that said, “Keep out.”

Instead, their parents have helped them mend with structure, consistent discipline and love, albeit tough love at times.

“I’m not a huggy-love mother,” Mrs. Derzon said. “I think that’s an asset when adopting older children because they know when it’s not real. I wait for them to come to me.”

Sydahna, 16, came from India. Dayna, 12, is from Romania. Oleeyah, 11, Sopheyah, 11, Aleksey, 8, and Poppy Fay, 4, are all from Russia.

Sisters Tiyah, 17, and Tatyanna, 14, who are African-American, were raised in separate foster homes. The Derzons learned there was another sister Robyn, 13, and she also joined the family.

Mr. Derzon, an attorney, was a bachelor who drove sports cars and traveled around the world to witness total eclipses of the sun before he met his wife.

Now, he drives a white, 15-passenger van nicknamed Moby Dick.

“I’m living the best life possible,” he said.

The family’s journey started seven years ago when Mrs. Derzon’s sister dropped Bryce off at their doorstep, saying she couldn’t handle her 5-year-old son any more. Bryce, who is now 14, is of African-American and Norwegian descent and lashed out at everyone when he arrived at their home, Mrs. Derzon said.

“I was afraid of him,” she said. “Look at him now. He’s president of his class, polite and respectful.”

Bryce, who seems easy-going and usually has a big smile, said he remembers when he couldn’t control his anger.

“I don’t why. It just happened,” he said. “Now that I’m older, I know the cause and effect. If I do this, this will happen. It’s improved a lot. I don’t get angry as much any more.”

When Bryce arrived, Mrs. Derzon told her husband it’s easier to raise two children than one.

The next day an adoption brochure arrived in the mail and Mr. Derzon commented, “I always wanted a daughter.”

They inquired about a girl, who turned out to be Tatyanna, which eventually led to three daughters.

Tatyanna said she was eager to leave her foster home, which was in a rough neighborhood with gang activity at one of the end of the street. Her foster parents wanted to adopt her sister Robyn, but not Tatyanna.

She said if they even looked toward the gang activity her foster father “whopped’ them. They weren’t allowed out of the yard and had few playmates.

She liked the Derzons from the start.

“They seemed like the family we should have and they would take care of us and they were fun,” she said.

Robyn, who described the foster home as “terrible,” said she followed her sister and would do whatever she told her to do.

They are happy to be part of the eclectic group, but as more children joined the family, they sometimes questioned their parents’ wisdom.

“When we first heard they were going to adopt more children, we were excited,” Tatyanna said. “The first one was Oleeyah. Then they got Aleksey, and I wasn’t excited about it. Then Poppy Faye and Dayna and I thought, ‘That’s way too many kids.’ Then Daniel came for a week, but I knew it wouldn’t be a week.”

Tatyanna said she felt she wasn’t getting enough of her parents’ time or enough time alone. She found that talking to her sister Tiyah helped.

Tiyah was in another foster home and also adopted by the Derzons. The sisters saw each other occasionally when a social worker arranged visits.

Bryce, who enjoys the big family, commented, “They just kept coming and coming and coming. We were curious when they would stop. I don’t know if they have stopped.”

Each child has his or her own personality.

Bryce and Robyn enjoying acting and have appeared in community theater and school productions with their father.

Bryce was Joseph in the middle-school production of “Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat.” Tatyanna loves being on the dance team so much that basketball, which used to be her first love, has been relegated to second choice. She is also on the volleyball and soccer teams and plays the violin in band.

In addition to acting, Robyn is on the forensics team and in choir. She and Bryce will sing in solo and ensemble regional competition.

Oleeyah sings in the sixth grade choir. She was bounced around seven foster homes after her adoptive parents, who went to Romania to adopt her, gave up on her. She met the Derzon family at a July 4 parade in Cedarburg and asked if she could live with them.

They couldn’t refuse.

While reputable foreign adoption agencies prepare parents and offer support throughout the adoption process, some are just interested in the money and do little to prepare the children or parents. Often, the children come from poor orphanages where they receive little attention.

“Because of the severe neglect and behavioral problems, the adoptions don’t go well,” Mrs. Derzon said.

“The parents try to Americanize them and believe they are doing what’s best for the children, but that’s not how they see it. They feel they have been kidnapped and taken away from their families in the orphanage.

“The parents are saying, ‘I love you,’ and hugging and touching them and they just want to be left alone. It doesn’t take long before the bubble bursts and the parents seek a magic pill. They told everyone about their dream, and they’re embarrassed their dream hasn’t come true. They become isolated. Some move away, some go to another school.”

The children the Derzons adopted were all given up by their adoptive parents, who paid anywhere from $10,000 to $50,000 to adoption agencies and lawyers.

“A lot of people aren’t prepared,” Mr. Derzon said. “They get these glossy magazines and see all the beautiful children and testimonials. Whenever you have big money, you have problems.

“Sometimes, they’re offered two children for $50,000. With that kind of money, someone will rubber stamp to make the deal. The parents think, ‘We’re going to adopt this child from a Russian orphanage and save him.’ But that’s not how the child feels.”

When parents adopt through the State of Wisconsin, they must attend classes on trauma and rejection before children are placed in their homes. They are foster parents for a year before the adoption becomes final. That’s if the parents surrender their rights. If not, the adoption may never be finalized and the child will remain in foster care.

Children who are raised in the sparse surroundings of an orphanage or poor home are often overwhelmed when they go to their new home filled with colorful toys and bright lights.

 

Similarly, an elementary school classroom can also be overwhelming with its wealth of activities, sights and sounds, and children pulling on their sleeves to play with them.

“It’s no wonder the children sometimes lash out,” Mr. Derzon said. “It’s the only thing they know.”

Their children attend Grafton schools. There is a Derzon child in almost every grade.

“We single-handedly diversified the student population,” Mr. Derzon said.

Three of the four high schoolers made the honor roll this semester. The other one just barely missed the honor.

“For them to get on the honor roll is a challenge,” Mr. Derzon said. “They started so far behind.”

Greg Kabara, principal of John Long Middle School in Grafton, said the Derzon children are good students.

“They get along with everybody,” Kabara said. “They not only provide us with different cultures not typical here, but also with religious components. They practice the Jewish faith and share that also.

“They’re just a really nice family to have in our learning community. Mr. and Mrs. Derzon are doing a phenomenal job. Whatever they’re doing at home is working. They’re neat kids and a fun family to work with.

“We’re providing them an education, but I think they’re also providing us an education.”

While she’s happy the children are doing well in school, Mrs. Derzon said she is even happier about their social adjustment.

Each had serious emotional problems and abuse issues to deal with.

“The biggest issue is how can you learn in school when there are other issues on your plate,” she said.

Her biggest concern is that the children meld as a family, not whether they complete their homework, although they usually accomplish that as well.

The family sticks together. They eat meals together. When they go on outings, they stay together.

“We don’t let anything compromise bonding,” Mrs. Derzon said. “They feel safe when they’re together. They move together like schools of fish.

“We don’t get in between their fights. They have to resolve them themselves. When they’re out on jobs, they have to learn to get along with everyone.”

She has seen remarkable progress in the children, noting Alex wouldn’t talk when he joined the family.

“On May 10, he just started bursting out in song, singing ‘Bye, Bye Birdie.’ He had been diagnosed as autistic and now he’s one of the top kids in his class,” Mrs. Derzon said.

Sopheyah, who is Russian, has been speaking English for only two years and never attended school before. She, too, is a bright child who has made remarkable progress.

Poppy Faye has challenging developmental disabilities and a captivating personality.

“Don’t you love Poppy Faye’s enthusiasm?” her mother said. “She loves life. She gets excited about everything and makes you feel young again.”

All families could benefit from having meals together and doing activities together, Mrs. Derzon said.

“Our kids don’t have play dates. We’re not in 50 activities or sitting in cars waiting for someone to finish practice,” she said. “If we can help heal these traumatized kids by doing these foundation builders, what would happen to a healthy family if we went back to the basics?

“I think people go through the drive-in at McDonald’s and think they’re eating together. We sit down at 6:30 p.m. and sometimes don’t leave the table until 8 p.m. because we’re having so much fun talking.”

She said people sometimes look at their family and are amazed at how well they get along considering the different cultures and religions.

In addition to their different cultures, two are Muslim, three are Baptists and the others are Jewish. Mrs. Derzon, who was raised Catholic, converted to her husband’s Jewish faith, noting it was Jesus’s religion.

“When we go out to eat, people will think, ‘Oh, no. I hope they don’t sit by us,’” Mrs. Derzon said. “By the end of the evening, they will say, ‘It was the most enjoyable evening watching your family.’”

The children clean on Saturday mornings and try to get finished by 10 a.m. Everyone has a chore to complete.

Saturday is also the day one of the children gets to go with their dad somewhere.

Last week, it was Bryce’s turn. He chose the Dairy Queen for ice cream.

Bryce resembles President Barack Obama and ran for class president on the campaign theme, “I don’t just look like a president, I act like one.”

He promised to improve the school lunches and have pizza available every day.

Bryce and his father attended Obama’s inauguration along with Mr. Derzon’s brother Bob, who lives in California. They didn’t get close to the podium, but enjoyed the experience of being there, despite the frigid weather conditions.

They were staying in a hotel in downtown Washington, D.C., so the trip was easier than for those who had to travel into the city.

Bryce noted his eclectic family resembles the type of culture Obama espouses.

Mr. Derzon said he hopes their story encourages people to adopt children with special needs.

“I wish people would realize how much more they get than they give,” he said.

“What makes me a better parent at my advanced age is the realization how fast times goes. I realize these kids are going to be out of the house so soon. I try to live for today and make every day a happy day.”


Comments (0)Add Comment

Write comment
You must be logged in to post a comment. Please register if you do not have an account yet.

busy
 
advertisement
Banner
Banner